Stop prompting hints for sealing of couples who have been divorced....
Comments
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Amy Archibald said: Divorced couples can be sealed:
https://www.familysearch.org/help/sal...
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Because the relationship existed in mortality, we perform the ordinance for them. They have a choice to accept or reject the ordinances in the spirit world. By doing the ordinance we are giving them a choice. There are individual blessings associated with each ordinance.
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“The work we are performing here has direct relationship to the work over there. Someday you will know that there are ordinances performed over there, too, in order to make the vicarious work which you do effective. It will all be done under the authority and power of the priesthood of God.” - Elder Ezra Taft Benson, Sao Paulo Brazil Temple, 26 February 1979, in Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, pp. 252-253.0 -
Brett said: Amy
That is certainly TRUE for "Couple Relationships" (ie. Husband/Male/Groom; and, Wife/Female/Bride) for which one is NOT aware of the situation.
Whereas, for "Couple Relationships" for which one have personal knowledge, that is another matter ...
Many of us have been in that situation ...
Many of us have finished up "Sealing" the 'Couple', despite our personal knowledge of the situation; because:
(1) You cannot keep them "Reserved" in your "Temple" List forever; and,
(2) The moment you miss an expiring "Reservation", that is the moment that another well meaning Member User/Patron; but, who has NO personal knowledge of the situation, will come along and "Seal" them - been there ...
Just my thoughts.
Brett
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Tom Huber said: We are far better off to seal the couple, than to debate the merits of how they lived in mortality. The key is that we simply do not know the circumstances under which a divorce took place.
For instance, an older couple may decide to divorce because as two single individuals, they may actually have more income... this problem is addressed from time to time in the news.
Even if we know the couple and a horrid relationship that ended in divorce, we do not know the reason behind their decision and just because one of the persons involves tells us something, there may be other circumstances of which we have no knowledge.
In other words, it is not our decision to make.
I know of one situation where in a husband deserted the wife and children and went to South America, never to be heard from again. The wife remarried and the children petitioned the President for permission to have the couple sealed so their family would be complete (the second husband was a wonderful father according to what I was told by one of the children) and so permission was granted for the sealings to take place. I am related to the family.
Because the first marriage was sealed, the situation really hasn't changed much in that particular case and so a similar situation would still require permission from the President of the Church.
The bottom line is to go ahead as long as there is evidence that the father provided support to the family, even if it was for a short time (marries, divorced, or living together). See https://www.familysearch.org/help/sal... where it says,Deceased couples who were divorced may also be sealed. This provides one way for their children to be sealed to parents. However, if a couple was sealed in life and the sealing was canceled, First Presidency approval is required for them to be sealed again. Children of divorced parents may be sealed to grandparents if sealing to parents is not an option or is not desired by the descendants.
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Brett said: Tom
NOT every situation fits the norm ...
I have documented evidence (on the complete "Divorce" File, from State Archives; and, complete World War I, Military Service File, from Federal Archives) of the 'short' marriage of my Grandfather and his FIRST Wife. I would have preferred NOT to "Seal" them, I had been maintaining the "Sealing" in my "Temple" List; but, due to circumstances missed a "Release"; whereas, another Member User/Patron (who I might add was NOT that closely related; and, would NOT have been aware of the information and detail in, the "Divorce" File; and, World War I, Military Service File, came along and 'snavelled it up' with one of those 'Bots', to do the work. Luckily, I had "Printed" the original "Card" for the "Sealing"; and, 'bit the bullet' and did the Work; before, they did - asking for forgiveness and understanding.
Like I said, NOT every situation fits the norm ...
If a Member User/Patron, has personal knowledge of a situation; and/or, documentary evidence of circumstances; then, that Member User/Patron should be able to make a judgement call on the matter.
And, I totally agree with 'Mark'; and, the premise of his post.
Brett
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Amy Archibald said: Tom said: "We are far better off to seal the couple, than to debate the merits of how they lived in mortality."
We are commanded to do the ordinances - ALL of them. We are not commanded to make judgment calls on how any person lived their life or what kind of relationships they had or didn't have. We are asked to do the temple work on their behalf. They get to choose if they are worthy to accept the gift we are offering them.
Letting go of judgments is so freeing. My father struggled in doing the work for some of his ancestors because he knew them personally and they were mean to others or they led really hard lives of crime, etc. Or there were multiple marriages and divorces and he only wanted his mother to be with only his father. However, that isn't his choice.
I'm so glad that it is not my call in how families are put together for the eternities!
What is my responsibility is to do all the temple work that is available for my relatives and if that means sealing a woman to 5 divorced husbands, then I do it. Because my actions will give them the ability to choose again for themselves.
I'm not going to waste my time trying to prevent my relatives from receiving temple ordinances (because of divorce or what not). I have so many who need ordinances and research to last a lifetime that holding back ordinances because of how I "think" that person may feel in the spirit world (as they are continually being taught) is exhausting and not my responsibility.0 -
This is a topic that interests me greatly, and in fact, I find myself in a situation impacted by this exact concern (I won't bore you all with the gory details). My opinion is this:
In the first place, our ordinances do not in any way OBLIGATE those over there in the next life to ever be with someone that they do not wish to be with. It only opens the avenue for them to do so IF THAT IS THEIR DESIRE!!!! So, in no way should we be in fear that our sealings are somehow going to mess anything up. Our Heavenly Father is just and merciful, and NONE of what we do will ever oblige anyone to be in a relationship or do anything that they do not choose for themselves to be in.
Secondly, although we may have known the person, and perhaps the person actually went from this life SWEARING that they would never want to be with that person, remember that in this life, our knowledge and understanding even of our very spouses is very, very imperfect! We aren't able to read minds, and comprehend what may have caused the defects and attitudes in a marriage companion. The Lord knows those things, however WE DO NOT. When we arrive in that other world, after this earthly life is completed, I daresay we will likely be shocked at a whole lot of things, and there will be a heck of a lot that we THOUGHT we "knew", that will turn out to have been totally off-base!
Therefore, even though the person left this life feeling total disdain and distrust for the person they may have been married to, or even may have been divorced from, and would NEVER in this life have accepted the idea of being sealed to, you don't know if in THAT OTHER life, they will come to know and understand things that could potentially CHANGE THEIR MIND! You shouldn't be making decisions for them based on what you think you "know"! As I see it, at least, it's not a matter of whether in THIS life the person wanted to continue to be with that spouse. You simply cannot guarantee that over there, their understanding and desires and choices will continue to be the same!
We just don't know it all! And, as previously pointed out, by doing a sealing, they are in no way going to be obligated to spend the eternities with someone they don't want to be with! If, after all is said and done, we seal them here, but in the other life, it turns out in fact that they DON'T want to be with that person, they will be under no obligation! All that is being done is to offer an option... the choice is absolutely theirs! Don't hold back possibilities from people. You are NOT capable of understanding the matter and passing judgement... leave the decisions to the LORD and to that individual in their higher state where they will know and understand more than they did here!
That's how I see the matter
W. A. Barney
(currently living in Utah and Honduras)
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