Distant aunt keeps changing all the right data.
Hello everyone! There's this distant aunt of me who keeps changing all the obviously right sources and data of my great-grandfather, just to suit her own fantasies.
I have been researching my grandmother's parents for 8 years, and I know absolutely everything about their lives and I have all the proper sources and documentation to prove it, plus my grandmother's stories about her family. However this distant aunt keeps changing everything!! What can I do?? I told her the right info and politely asked her to stop, but it looks like she is just trolling me and constantly damaging my tree on purpose.
Answers
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Did your distant aunt ever respond to your messages? Sometimes people don't read the chat. They may not be receptive to that form of communication either.
Have you been able to locate obituaries for your great-grandparents and the people your distant aunt thinks they are? If any list the children, that may be your strongest evidence to show or attach.
One option is the "agree to disagree" approach. Attach the line you have researched correctly and just let her incorrect line exist alongside. In other words, set the preferred parents (link below). Then, attach a note in the collaborate tab for your grandmother and thoroughly explain your research. It's not ideal, but may resolve some of this.
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Hi @GFre! This distant aunt of mine is the daughter of my grandmother's cousin, and nope, she didn't reply to my message, nor did she read the alert note I left on my great-grandfather's profile.
My great-grandfather's REAL NAME was Bennedict, and his 4 grandparents were Italians, while both his parents were already born in America. However, his nickname was "Vincent" (which he took from his maternal grandfather when he was a child), therefore, EVERYONE called him "Vincent", and knew him as such.
The problem with this distant aunt is that she got the wrong birth certificate of someone who was born in the same town, was called Vincent, had a somewhat similar surname, and was born just 3 weeks later.
So now she believes that's the right man, even though I told her that his REAL name was Bennedict, not Vincent, and that the parents of the other man don't match his real parents at all.
The thing is that other man she believes is my great-grandfather has Native American roots, so now she is telling everyone that we descent from a "Cherokee Princess", which is obviously A LIE, and everytime I fix my great-granfather's line, she comes and changes everything to suit her fantasies… damaging my tree while doing so!!
She also has put my grandmother as dead (when she is actually alive, and today is her 85th birthday), the children of other people as my great-grandparents' children, and the wrong relatives (who may be the relatives of the other man she mistakenly thinks is my great-grandfather).0 -
@GFre As I said, I have all the documentation about my great-grandparents, everything in physical original copies.
I already tried what you are saying (let her live in her fantasies), but she deletes my great-grandfather's real parents every week or so.
I already tried 7 times! ☹️😑0 -
@Joseph Emmanuel45, I understand why you're frustrated. That's a difficult situation.
First, I would definitely report to FamilySearch that your grandmother is alive. Living people's information is protected on this site. Go to her page, click the erroneous death information, then click 'edit' and change it from deceased to living. In the next text box, explain that person is your grandmother and she is still alive. It should be fixed soon.
Second, I would create a new profile for your grandmother. As she will be marked living, only you can see and edit the profile. You can then build at least part of the tree correctly for her without any interference.
Lastly, I think it would be a great help to start sharing with others in your extended family the work that you have done. Show how it is supported. Find obituaries, newspaper clippings, anything you can to strengthen the evidence in addition to the usual sources. You can share your tree with family in a print-out, or on Ancestry, or even create a Family Group here on FamilySearch.
https://www.familysearch.org/en/blog/shared-family-groups-feature
The more people in your family that know the truth and can back you up, the better. Also, that may be a way to get it on her radar if she has missed your messages.
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That is a concern, where someone can mark living people as dead on FamilySearch, repeatedly. Is it only relatives that can do this?
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Anyone can create a profile and mark it deceased immediately.
If I create a profile for a living person, with living status, no one else can see it, unless/until I change the status to deceased.
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@GFre Thank you, I have already reported the situation to FS yesterday, telling them that she is my grandmother, and we had our breakfast that same morning. I hope FS will be able to fix the situation within the next few days.
As for this privacy problem… I have my own grandmother's private profile (as she is alive), and that distant aunt has hers, in which she constantly claims that my grandmother is dead (when, in fact, she isn't).
My grandmother is quite healthy for her age.0 -
@David Alan Webber I think anyone can create a profile for a person, and then mark it as deceased, even if that person is still alive.
The thing is that can be a privacy issue for many people…0 -
@Joseph Emmanuel45 I'm glad you reported it. Usually it's fixed quickly.
You may want to reach out, if not to her, to other family that can talk to her. While she needs to be aware of the correct ancestral line, she most importantly needs to be told that your grandmother is alive and it violates FamilySearch policy to mark someone living as dead. I've heard there is a very high bar for reporting abuse. Still, if she is informed and then continues to expose your grandmother's personal data, that would seem like a blatant violation to me.
Hopefully this will all be resolved soon.
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@GFre Thank you for your concern. A few hours ago, I received an email from FS saying that the problem had been successfully fixed. 🙂😀
My French maternal grandmother always said that: "Don't give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them underfoot and turn and tear you to pieces."
Arguing with ignorant people is a waste of time. Hopefully, my distant aunt will get tired and stop editing my tree, and she may keep her fantasies about "Cherokee Princesses" to herself.
I will certainly report her if she keeps violating the platform's privacy policy, or at least I'll try.
In either case, I will make a copy of my tree and keep a private one on Ancestry or some other place.1
