Week 26 (June 21-27) Father’s Day - Have you written your Father’s story?
What family members can you share this story with? What questions can you ask her - or do you wish that you could ask her? If you were adopted: Have you found a birth parent? What are you doing to search for your birth father? What would you like to know about your birth father?
If you were adopted: Have you found a birth parent? What are you doing to search for your birth father? What would you like to know about your birth father?
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I have written my own Father's Story and best of all I have shared it with my grandchildren and children. But i'm thinking about my adopted daughter and her connections to her birth parents. My husband and I have met our 6th, but only adopted daughter's birth father, but she hasn't met him. She is nervous. So my question to you and others, how much research should I do without her being in on it. I have done very little. I've found her birth grandparents, but have gone no further. Should I wait until she has more interest? What are your opinions? Thanks, Pam Whicker
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Some people just are't interested in their ancestors weather they are adopted or not. Tell her your interested and would enjoy doing her family research. You can do the work privately and off line if she prefers. If she know's you already met her bio dad, anyone beyond grandparents anyone who is deceased or from over 100 years ago I assume would be very irreverent to her. Only us genealogist care about the people from beyond anyone's living memory. Closer an living relatives would be more a touchy subject. It would be hard for you to learn things and keep the information from her.
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I will try and do that. I think the reason it came to mind is my son who died in 2000. I have him connected to both his bio dad (who is diseased) and his step father who raised him. I firmly believe BOTH relationships are important. This is something that I've had to turn over to God and know it will all turn out for the best. You have some great suggestions and I will contact her
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I have found that reaching out to unexpected family can go either way. Some people are excited to meet new family and are very willing to share information. Others want to keep the old stories closed. I have found that it helps sometimes to give a lead in to the story about accepting people and loving them, as an extra gift to the family, sometimes allows people to be more accepting. My favorite adoptee to birth family connection was made when I contacted the adoptee's aunt. She was determined to reach out to the families of the potential birth father. She contacted her nieces and told them, "One of you has a new half-sister. She is an unexpected gift - another piece of your father AND we are going to love her like family." She told them upfront what she expected of them, and they were willing to follow her lead. We can't boss around people that we don't know, but we can share the concept and invite them to at least consider the positive potentials of a new relationship.
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