Adoption and Find a Grave
Anyone know if there is a “rule” about adoption and the way someone’s memorial is posted? My grandmother was adopted at birth by the Dr. when her mother died during childbirth... someone created a F. A. G. profile for her the other day, they included her birth mother as the mother, when I “suggested an edit” to add the people who raised her from birth, my suggestion was declined. I’m not sure how to proceed with this... she looks very lonely there with only one person listed lol
Risposte
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@X24mom X24mom
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The "Find.A.Grave" User who, "Created"; and, "Manages", a Memorial has the option (ie. right) to, either, accept; or, decline, you suggested edit.
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Really, you do not need to do anything.
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And, it really depends on how the "Find.A.Grave" User responded, as to whether you continue pursing the matter with them or not.
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Remember, like "Family Tree" of "FamilySearch", "Collaboration" is the key - but, like everything in life, you win some, you lose some.
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Another, option is to "Create" and "Manage" your own "Find.A.Grave" Memorial for your Grandmother.
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You can then, "Merge" / "Combine" the two (x2) Memorials in "Find.A.Grave" with your Memorial being the "Surviving" record.
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Or, like I suggested, do nothing.
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The choice is yours.
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Brett
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if this is your grandmother . . . you should ask for the memorial to be transferred to YOU
(based on your direct line of descent).
You then could edit it as you wish
however that being said - - Findagrave is not really a true family tree database
it is not a system where people go in and "create their family tree"
it is first and foremost - a database of graves. It is only a secondary feature that does allow linking to father and mother. But dont take that to mean there is some rule that it must be X (biological or adopted etc.) to a large degree it is at the decision (whim?) of the admin.
if you can get the memorial transferred to you great. Otherwise - dont let the issue bother you a whole lot.
also you could put a small flower note on the memorial explaining who you are and the scenario that you explained.
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If the person won't transfer the memorial to you, this is the route to take as noted in their FAQ's: If the memorial in question is a direct relative within the four generations to you and the memorial manager is not direct family, then they must transfer the memorial. If they refuse to transfer the memorial or do not respond within a reasonable amount of time, contact support@findagrave.com and we will work on it for you.
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Tysm! @Brett . @AndersonDennisEugene AndersonDennisEugene @Melissa S Himes youve all made wonderful suggestions! The person who created this is not a relative but someone I am familiar with from Ancestry ... he lives in the town where my grandmother grew up and he knows some of the family’s ... she was adopted and I hope to someday figure out who her bio father was. thank you all for your suggestions I’m not sure what I want to do just yet
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my suggestion would be to simply try to create a positive relationship with the admin of the memorial.
if that is established - most of everything else will work its way out.
tact, patience, and respect - go a very very long way - when working collaboratively in Findagrave or FamilySearch
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Yeah I thought I had a positive relationship with him lol that’s why I was asking here if it was some sort of rule to place adoptees with their birth relatives which doesn’t make sense lol
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just as a tip
dont "assume" anything (Im not saying you are . . .) but for example . . .
I have had cases where I accidentally denied something when I meant to approve it.
don't assume anything - just try to patiently and tactfully find out - why he denied it and what his perspective is.
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Have you searched the FAG forums to see what others say about adoptees on the site?
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I dont see anything in the forums
but if you click on this link below
you will see various users who have referenced the word "apopted" in their profile.
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