About 10 years ago, I was told by my paternal aunt that I had another sister who was given in privat
The child was born in June. Her father was a veterinarian in San Francisco named "Ed". My mother was twice widowed by war; her name was Shirley B. Lind at the time. She could have used Shirley Bell (maiden name), Shirley Conrad (first husband's name), or used Ed's last name. My grandmother Lind was a nurse who worked at Alta Bates or Herrick Hospital, I believe, and may have helped make the arrangements. Mom lived in Walnut Creek, which is now part of Pleasant Hill. Her birthday was July 31, 1917, in Cleveland, Ohio. Our doctors were usually at the Prisidio. Mom had small babies, so this was well-hidden from the rest of the family. I visited the Calif. Genealogical Society where I was told it would be impossible without more information. I reviewed many birth statistics from the state.This site helped me find my brother-in-law's dad, so I'm hoping for another miracle. Can this sister be found?
Answers
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Helen,
Was your aunt born in California or Ohio? Are you sure of the baby's gender? I'm going to send you a private message about a male child born in 1952 in California.
For Ohio Research Prior to 1964
If an adoption for a child born in Ohio was finalized prior to January 1st, 1964, adult adoptees and their lineal descendants may submit an application to the Ohio Department of Health for a copy of the adoption file.May 4, 2020
Adoption File Information - Ohio Department of Health - Ohio.gov
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Helen, I love to hear that you have found success in the past with the FamilySearch Community!
California has some birth records available online through FamilySearch. I'll tell you about an advanced way to search in the FamilySearch records.
When you fill out the search form, pick and choose what you want to answer. Often times, filling out the whole form will put in some information that will eliminate an answer.
I tend to stretch the dates a bit. Instead of looking for only 1952-1953, I open the search to 1950-1955. We are dealing with information from someone that might be slightly off on the dates, so I always try to expand the search a bit.
I tend to search only with a surname for the child. In this case, I tried both Bell and Conrad. (At times, I have tried using just a mother's first name. This tends to only work if the mother's name is a bit unique.)
I did not list a town in California. Nor did I specify a gender.
When I am searching for an adoptee, I typically look for the babies that only have a last name listed. If they have given names, they are more likely to go home with their mother. If I only find babies with a complete name, I try to search for other records for people with that same name. If I can find them getting married, in a city directory, or some other public record; I can usually assume that this is not the adoptee.
Does this make sense?
Can anyone else share some tips that they use for searching records?
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Hi Carolyn, My Aunt was from California. The baby was most likely a girl. My aunt shared that Mom called the baby "June" because that was her month of birth. She said my "sister" was born when I was 4 years old. I would have been 4 in June of 1953, but that certainly could be "rounded" to 1952 or 1954. My aunt apparently drove my mom to the place where the baby was given over. I was in so much shock that I didn't think to ask more questions. My aunt said the decision to give the baby for adoption was because Mom was already a single mother of two girls and could not manage having another child. My Aunt was perplexed as to why my mom and Ed did not marry; reportedly it was something to do with his health. I was very small, but I think I remember when my Mom told my grandmother. As a child, I remember my mom crying a lot. Widowed twice and having to give a child for adoption. I can't begin to know her anguish!
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My heart breaks for the hard decisions that your mother must have made. I hope all of us can be kind when we think about birth mothers and their decisions. I am sure that many of them faced difficult trials that seemed unbearable to them before and after their decision to place their child for adoption. I believe that most birth mothers did what they thought was best at the time. I am sure that many regretted their choice, as well as the situations that made them feel that this was the best choice. Let's always try to be sensitive to their pain too. I know that many adoptees feel rejected, and this seems like a natural and normal feeling to have.
Birth parents never expected that their stories would be revealed. DNA and record searches were not anticipated. Many were encouraged to bury this tragic chapter of their lives, and I am sure that many tried to work through this painful process. Let us be mindful of this when we attempt to make contact. The pain sometimes shows up as anger. Often denial is another technique that is used to try to hide from the pain. My suggestion is to always move slowly as you reach out. Always document any information that you discover, because it might disappear if the other party feels threatened. Family members will often protect other family members (even at the risk of keeping adoptees detached from the family.) Many times family members are not aware of secret adoptions. Other times they have been sworn to secrecy. Can you imagine their surprise when they are approached by someone that thinks that they connect to the family?
I would love to hear the stories of others in this group. Please share what you have learned. What works? What doesn't work? What would you suggest?
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