Divorced, can't get rid of first husband in my family tree, cannot add new husband
hi there,
I am not the top expert despite over 4,000 indexed records, but I am totally lost here so if you have ideas I will be grateful.
So I was temple married in 1999 to my first husband. He then left in 2017. I tried many times to take him off my 'family' as a spouse but it seems to be impossible.
In 2024 I got married again. I spent hours looking but I cannot find any way of adding my new spouse, or the marriage event.
In fact when I look up the name of my new spouse, I see his record but I cannot connect to him in any way.
However, my current husband has easily added me with no problems to his own Family Search, and that is not visible to me. From what I see in his records, he is not married.
But we are temple married. The records are there.
He added me as a spouse using my birth surname, but my original surname has been modified by decree with a different surname 25 years ago.
My account has that new surname and not the birth surname as a 'user name'. However it still retains of course my birth surname, so I should see myself as his spouse, but I do not.
I am so confused. Do I need to talk to a Family Search rep who has access to my records?
Thanks,
Answers
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@Franz Sidney It certainly seems that removing an unwanted spouse would be simple. It must be frustrating to not be able to do so. Theoretically, if you are on your Person page and click the pencil icon next to your marriage to your divorced spouse, you should be able to click on REMOVE OR REPLACE under his name.
However, doing so, will also remove him as a parent to any children you have. (This won't affect the actual data, only what you see on FamilySearch.) You can certainly do this and replace him with your new husband. You can then go through and mark any children you have as step-children to their new step-father. Make sure that you check the 'I have reviewed…' checkbox on the next screen, otherwise you won't be able to click on the REMOVE HUSBAND or REPLACE HUSBAND buttons at the bottom.
Now, I just tested on my account and had no difficulty in removing my husband, and adding him back in.
For your new husband, you will need to create a new spouse for yourself. On your Person page, scroll down below any children that you have listed and then click on +ADD SPOUSE. You will create a new, duplicate, profile for your husband, as you will not be able to access his profile. If you look at his account, you will notice that his record of you has a different ID number than you have for yourself. This is because in the FamilySearch Tree, only you can see profiles that you create for living people.
Hopefully, this process will work smoothly and you will be able to see your new husband in your tree!
You might be interested in the new family group trees. You can create a family group tree and share information and pictures with other members of the group.
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Thanks, Anne!
I was worried if I removed him, I would cause who knows what damage to the tree.
But yes, of course I will do that right away! It makes sense.
Have a great day and thanks for taking the time to explain it to me!
PS I removed my ex but whatever I do I cannot add the new husband based on his ID.
So I had to create a new person, which of course makes no sense
best,
Franz
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Realize that living people on your account is visible to only you, for privacy reasons. No one else can see them. So, your husband has a profile for him on his own account with a different ID, and you can’t see his nor can anyone else. So, hopefully many years from now when he joins the non living and someone changes his status with death data on his account (obviously, someone would need to have access) and the status is changed on your account, then both profiles will appear to the public. Eventually, the FS bot or someone will recognize them as duplicates and merge them. Then he will become one for all to visit and honor.
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technically we should be able to connect just like I did with my first husband,…
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