www.familysearch.org
Never give up hope about finding your family. This is a beautiful story about a lady that was 80 years old when she found her biological family.
https://www.familysearch.org/blog/en/family-history-research-solves-family-mystery/
Her adoptive parents had created a new narrative about the birth parents, and the adoptee thought her bio parents were dead.
The story tells how she quickly located her biological family. (There are some good research ideas in this article!)
I'd love to hear what you think about this!
Comments
-
Lovely story!
0 -
How lovely , thank you for sharing it It gives us hope . bjnl through the dna I have made contact with one of Margarets cousins , as of yet the closer cousins have not replied , However a lovely lady has answered and given me the names of Margarets 3x gr grandparents
I just have to work out how I can get back closer , still mapping her dna . My dna will be ready on 29th .
0 -
Shân - That is good progress. The closer relatives are likely to be more guarded in their response and you need to be a bit careful dealing with them. When I was trying to figure things out, I contacted a 2C and gave him a bit too much info about the nature of my search. This resulted in him removing his tree and going quiet on me. I already had him plotted in my research tree so it didnt really matter from a research point of view ... in fact, in a way, it helped to confirm I was probably on the right trail ... but it did leave me feeling a little bit snubbed and bruised. I think that some of the closer matches become concerned about inadvertently helping to expose a family secret. Others of course are supportive and want to help ... The challenge is figuring out which is which.
0 -
bjnl ...That is so true , I think I may have gushed in there with one or two , I have rethought things and tried to put myself in their shoes , I understand fully , One thing is certain I will not give up Margaret is so thrilled with what I have found so far it is a joy to be able to help her she is so excited . I am still waiting on a reply from the letter I wrote .
I also have another task on my hands I will clarify when my dna comes through I believe my maternal grandmother was illegitimate . !! It is a new challenge every day with my tree fascinating stuff . I get absorbed and the day has passed before i know it . Will keep you posted .
0 -
The first few emails that I sent out, to determine how unknown DNA connections matched up, I told way too much information. It is often a good idea to ask the other party to help you figure out the connection. It is frequently not a good idea to say that you are trying to solve a paternity case or to uncover an adoption. Many people will go quiet when they are asked to disclose family information. Yet, they might be willing to give tidbits of information if you can suggest that you are trying to learn more about someone that appears to be a common ancestor. With DNA, you can often figure out who a common ancestor is and then work on determining who their descendants are and start creating hypothesis as to where an adoptee or someone with an unknown parent might fit in. Ask for their help to learn about your common ancestor and then see if you can get them to share information that might slowly help you answer your question.
0 -
Thank you Carolyn Webber , I will try and remember that , In this case we have only one close relative through dna no tree and I think I frightened him off by giving to much info the rest are distant cousins , I am surprised to see how many people have had Dna taken yet do not have trees I am coming across this all the time . So many obstacles it takes all day sometimes and I draw a blank .
Challenging ,frustrating infuriating yet Still get so much enjoyment from my tree .
0 -
I have a mystery I would like help with. I was contacted thru Ancestry DNA by a young man who said he thought I was his aunt. He was adopted in Montana 1979. He has not tried to find out who his birth parents are so I felt like I could not give him much help without knowing who his birth parents are. His DNA match number was quite high so I'm sure we are related somehow. He only has a tree with his wife and two children. I have nothing to draw from to research. Montana is a closed adoption state. I don't even know where to begin. This young man has stopped communication with me when I told him I didn't know how to help him. Do you have any suggestions how I can possibly research how we are related.
0 -
@VictoriaSnelson1 How many cM do you share with the match? The Shared cM calculator - https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4 - suggests that, on average an Aunt will share 1741cM with her neices and nephews. But this relationship can fall within the range of 1201cM to 2282cM. There are other relationships that are possibilities for this number as well. If you put the number of cM you share with him into the calculator - click on the link above - it will tell you the relationship probabilities for the cM you share with him. If 'Aunt' is one of the possibilities, then I guess a question for you is, is it possible that one of your siblings has had a child you don't know about? I expect this young man will be feeling quite vulnerable now and with a real need to know who he is. As an adoptee myself, I know how appreciative he will be if you are able to help him. The first thing to do is use the calculator and see what it says for the cM shared or tell us here what the cM shared is so that we can better help you.
0 -
Thank you for responding so quickly. Our shared cM is 959. I clicked on the link you told me to. I find understanding DNA data confusing. So if you can explain which category I most match with him, that would be very helpful. I have one brother and we unfortunately are not on speaking terms. I did think it was possible he could be the father. I also have a 1st cousin 10 years younger than me who could be the father but he has passed away.
0 -
Yes - using DNA is a bit of a learning curve and we all start out in a state of bamboozlement (not sure that is a word!-?) so I do understand. I still have lots to learn myself and I have been working with DNA since 2013 ... it does start to make sense after a while. Putting 959 into the calculator (https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4/959 ) tells you the relationship probabilities. What it is telling you is that there is a 99.93% probability that your relationship with this match is either: Great-Grandparent; Great-Aunt / Uncle; Half Aunt / Uncle; first cousin; Half Niece / Nephew; Great-Niece / Nephew Great-Grandchild . It also lists some other relationships for which there is an outside chance (0.07% probaility) e.g., Half 1C, 1C1R.
So the thing to do - based on your knowledge of your own family and their ages etc. and what you know about the age of this match ... which of the suggested relationships (Great-Grandparent; Great-Aunt / Uncle; Half Aunt / Uncle; First cousin; Half Niece / Nephew; Great-Niece / Nephew Great-Grandchild ) is a realistic probability. Note that this range of possibilities does not mention Aunt. It does suggest Half Aunt. To be a half Aunt he would have to be the child of your half sibling so if you don't have one of those you can rule that out. Another thing you can do is - in the boxes at https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4/959, click on the histogram for the realistic probabilities e.g., if I click on 1C for example, it tells me there were 680 submissions to the cMproject of 1C relationships that had shared cMs between 901-1000cMs whereas if I click on Great Aunt/Uncle there were only 161 submissions to the cM project of Great Aunt/Uncle relationships that had shared cMs between 901-1000cMs. On this basis 1C seems like a better bet than Great Aunt which I assume you would rule out on the basis of age anyway?? ... although age difference between matches can sometimes be misleading!
Do you know if your match is getting help from someone - dnaadoption.org is a place he can go for advice ... or here of course. You are likely his highest match. What he could do next is to look at the shared matches he has with you and build a research tree based on your tree to try to link the shared matches together. You could help him with this by sharing your tree with him and or telling him who your parents and grandparents are so that he can see if he can join any of the shared matches to your tree. If there are a few who share 40cM or more he can use them the WATO tree to figure out where he belongs in your tree. WATO can be found (What Are The Odds) can be found here - https://dnapainter.com/tools . There is a video that explains how to use WATO ... : https://www.rootstech.org/video/introduction-to-what-are-the-odds . Alternatively, you may want to be in control of things and do this yourself - build a research tree - try to connect the matches you share with him to your tree and then have a play with WATO so that, at some stage, you can better advise him where he may fit in. Whatever you do, you will need to tread carefully as it is likely that you are about to uncover a family secret. That said, speaking as an adoptee, it is my view that it would be a positive thing to help him as he has a right to know where he has come from but it does need to be done carefully because what he doesn't have a right to is a relationship but when things are approached carefully, relationships are sometimes possible and that is a bonus for most adoptees.
0 -
Victoria,
I have helped people find there biological family using Ancentry DNA. The first step would be to build a tree with all your common DNA matches. If you can look at his DNA matches you build him another tree using the other parent's common DNA matches and finding names in public trees. I also use truepeopesearch.com which is a free way to search people.
Hope this helps. Email me is you want some assistance.
0 -
Amy, we are excited to have you helping! I noticed that you mistyped the link address. You lost the 'l' in people. truepeoplesearch.com
I also use familytreenow.com to find living people. This is my favorite free search site. (It is free if you avoid the other optional links.) My favorite tool at this site is determining who their potential relatives and associates are.
Again, thanks for volunteering with this group. I look forward to seeing you share your skills with the group.
0 -
I appreciate any help I can get. The problem with this young man is the only people on his tree is his wife and two children. That is as far as it goes. He knows nothing about his natural parents as he has no desire to search for them. He said he was happy with the parents that raised him and will go no further. That is why I feel I have hit a brick wall. So if you have any other suggestions it would be greatly appreciated.
0 -
I am a little confused. I think that you said that the young man contacted you thinking that you were his aunt. Now, he doesn't want to know who his parents are? Based on the amount of shared centimorgans, the prediction is that he is related to you in one of these relationships:
Great-Grandparent; Great-Aunt / Uncle; Half Aunt / Uncle; first cousin; Half Niece / Nephew; Great-Niece / Nephew Great-Grandchild . It also lists some other relationships for which there is an outside chance (0.07% probaility) e.g., Half 1C, 1C1R.
My guess is that you might be able to eliminate most of the relationships that start with great based on age. Be careful though, my 25 year old sister is a great aunt and her great niece/nephews are babies.
If you have information about the other matches that he has, you can create a WATO tree. If his matches have shared tree information, you might find that it is relatively easy to discover his relationship. This gets complicated though when families have large numbers of children. However, if he is not interested in discovering who his parents are right now, please don't push. Adoptees like to find their answers when they are ready. It is not uncommon for biological families to need time to reconnect. There are a lot of emotions to come to terms with.
0 -
What is a WATO tree
0 -
I know that the way these threads collapse and expand can make it difficult to see all of the answers.
bjnl explained the WATO tree earlier in this thread., but I will post her response again. Please ask more questions if this is not clear:
"If there are a few who share 40cM or more he can use them the WATO tree to figure out where he belongs in your tree. WATO can be found (What Are The Odds) can be found here - https://dnapainter.com/tools . There is a video that explains how to use WATO ... : https://www.rootstech.org/video/introduction-to-what-are-the-odds . Alternatively, you may want to be in control of things and do this yourself - build a research tree - try to connect the matches you share with him to your tree and then have a play with WATO so that, at some stage, you can better advise him where he may fit in. Whatever you do, you will need to tread carefully as it is likely that you are about to uncover a family secret. That said, speaking as an adoptee, it is my view that it would be a positive thing to help him as he has a right to know where he has come from but it does need to be done carefully because what he doesn't have a right to is a relationship but when things are approached carefully, relationships are sometimes possible and that is a bonus for most adoptees."
0 -
I have posted before about this , I am painting dna for my cousin who is searching for her birth father an American G.I , am I wasting my time ? I have painted over 130 matches it is only on 10% and seem to be getting nowhere her matches are so low and the highest one is not on Gedmatch he has not responded to a request half the matches don't have trees I am getting nowhere .
0 -
Do you know the name of the American GI you are searching for? I too would like to search for my half sibling that my father fathered during WWII but have no information of who the mother was or which country she is from.
0 -
Shân DennisI would concentrate on finding matches that I could use with the WATO tool at DNA Painter, before using the Painting tool.
Don't give up! This can be a long journey, but answers can be found.
Have you uploaded your DNA results to all of the other sites that you can?
How much DNA do you share with the closest match? Do they have a public tree?
0 -
We were given a name William Martin he was aware apparently I have on advice written to America to find out who the G.I was for definate .
0 -
Carolyn webber
closest match is 678 cm across 34cm he has no tree has not responded to messages and has not put his dna Gedmatch my next closest that is on Gedmatch is 161cm across 13 segments he has not responded either nor have the other matches it is disheartening .
0 -
I have probably asked this before and you have probably answered. Did you test with Ancestry? Have you grouped your matches by who you both share with?
0 -
yes and the ones we share have no trees
0 -
Do you see the surname Martin in your matches? On Ancestry, you can search for surnames in the trees. The nice thing is that it will show private trees that contain that surname. This can be very beneficial.
0 -
yes there are martins and on the Gedmatch who had dna done by a different company
0 -
Do you know what state William Martin was from? Do you have an approximate birth year?
0 -
He would have had be born 1925 0n as he would have had to be a certain age to enlist conception took place end 1943 the child was born October 1944
0 -
Caroline webber sorry North Carolina we were told
0 -
the closest match had a mother whose maiden name was Martin
0 -
I can provide you with information about a man named William Martin that currently lives in Delaware. He was born in 1925. He is 95 years old.
0
