De facto relationships
Hi,
I received the below question from a member/ friend in my ward.
“Do we create family search connections and do sealings for de facto couples? My step-grandfather lived with my grandma and they were together, but never got married. My grandma and grandpa (who were married) separated before this.”
To me, I wouldn’t seal/ marry 2 people unless they were willing to do the ordinance while living. But, does this means that the grandma won’t be sealed to anyone (as she divorced)? And what about her children, who are they sealed to?
Looking forward to hearing your answers
Best Answer
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As I understand it, just as another user here, current policy is to seal a deceased woman to all of her deceased husbands to whom she was legally married. This includes all marriages including those that ended in divorce. (See the General Handbook section 38.4.1.7 for details.)
This Help Center article mentions common-law marriages (https://www.familysearch.org/en/help/helpcenter/article/policy-on-sealing-a-deceased-couple-that-were-never-married-nor-ever-lived-together) and that depending on the situation a common-law marriage or even just a long term cohabiting relationship can also be considered a legal marriage and the couple sealed.
This is something your friend can discuss with his or her bishop and/or temple president or could just do both sealings, realizing that performing the sealing does not necessarily mean it is valid.
Regarding not doing ordinances for people "unless they were willing to do the ordinance while living," don't forget that we do that all the time in the temple. We are doing work for all sorts of people who would never have done the ordinances in this life and will never accept the ordinances done for them by proxy. Our responsibility is to complete all the ordinances for everyone so that they have opportunity to accept or continue to reject them. Fortunately it is not up to us to decide what your friend's grandmother will think of either of her men in the next life when she sees who they really are and the travails of this life are past.
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Answers
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Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions. I really appreciate your insight and your reference to other sources.
Many thanks!
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